Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
