Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
