i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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