His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
