I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize