the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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