so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Someone came in the potted fern
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
