Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize