i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
