we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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