I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
