i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize