Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
