And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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