Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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