i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
