the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
