You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize