Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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