Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
