At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
