i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
