9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
