Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
