So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
