Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
