at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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