Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
