see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
