but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
