Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
