If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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