dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
