i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize