i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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