Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
