# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize