The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize