I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
