you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
