Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize