either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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