It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
