Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
