I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
