think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
