3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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