You just made me feel so damn special
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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