I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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