Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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