I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
