Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize