there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Someone signed my nipple.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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