You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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