Are we in a gay sports bar?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
