I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
