no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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