Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
