it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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