you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
