She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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